Pemaknaan Pengalaman Berduka dan Negosiasi Kehidupan Sosial Ibu di Yogyakarta Pasca Kehilangan Anak

Pinky Astri Astuti, Oki Rahadianto Sutopo, Ph.D.

2026 | Skripsi | Sosiologi

Kehilangan anak kerap kali hanya dikaitkan pada level psikologis seseorang tanpa melihat bagaimana dunia bekerja dalam kehidupan sosial seorang ibu itu sendiri. Realita menunjukkan fenomena ini tak hanya mengguncang psikis namun juga identitas sosial seorang perempuan. Penelitian ini melihat bagaimana doxa keibuan yang terbentuk di masyarakat  melalui akulturasi nilai budaya-agama dan warisan ideologi Ibuisme Negara turut membentuk cara ibu memaknai kehilangan anak dan menegosiasikan kembali kehidupan sosialnya.

Penelitian ini menerapkan metode penelitian kualitatif dengan pendekatan fenomenologi melalui wawancara mendalam bersama tiga ibu di Yogyakarta. Penelitian ini mengupas perjalanan hidup mereka di berbagai arena kehidupan sejak kecil hingga memasuki fase berumah tangga dan merawat anak semasa hidupnya. Penelitian ini menerapkan kerangka Teori Praktik dan dipadukan dengan konsep refleksivitas feminis.

Temuan menunjukkan bahwa ibu yang merawat anak dengan bantuan perawatan medis memiliki pemaknaan kehilangan yang dimulai sebelum kematian melalui duka antisipatoris, disertai rasa bersalah sebagai produk doxa keibuan yang memberikan standar-standar kesempurnaan peran ibu. Kematian anak menciptakan retakan atau hysteresis effect antara bayangan masa depan yang telah diinternalisasi menjadi habitus dengan realita yang tidak pernah terbayangkan akan terjadi. Kekosongan rutinitas dan identitas kemudian menjadi titik masuk bagi munculnya refleksivitas. 

Refleksivitas berlangsung secara non-sinkron di tiga arena: domestik berupa redefinisi makna menjadi ibu yang baik; publik melalui transformasi duka menjadi aksi kolektif berbasis komunitas sesama pengalaman; dan sosial melalui penataan ulang relasi berdasarkan dukungan yang bermakna. Seluruh proses negosiasi diri berlangsung dalam batas regulated liberties yang dibentuk doxa dan arena, sementara habitus sekunder yang terbentuk selama merawat anak sakit terus bekerja pascakehilangan dan menghasilkan disposisi kepedulian sosial baru. Penelitian ini menyimpulkan bahwa kedukaan ibu pascakehilangan anak adalah praktik sosial yang terus dinegosiasikan dalam batas-batas arena dan doxa. 

The loss of a child is frequently associated solely with an individual's psychological state, overlooking how the world operates within the social life of the mother herself. Reality demonstrates that this phenomenon not only destabilizes a woman's psychological well-being but also her social identity. This study examines how the doxa of motherhood constructed in society through the acculturation of cultural-religious values and the ideological legacy of State Ibuism contributes to shaping the ways mothers construct the meaning of child loss and renegotiate their social lives.

This study applies a qualitative research method utilizing a phenomenological approach. Through in-depth interviews with three mothers in Yogyakarta, this research unpacks their life trajectories across various arenas of life, from childhood to entering the phase of domestic life and caring for their children during their lifetimes. This study employs the framework of Practice Theory, integrated with the concept of feminist reflexivity.

The findings reveal that mothers who had children with the assistance of medical care experienced a form of meaning-making that began prior to death through anticipatory grief, accompanied by guilt as a product of the doxa of motherhood which dictates standards of perfection upon the maternal role. The death of a child produces a rupture, or hysteresis effect, between the imagined future that had been internalized as habitus and the reality that had never been anticipated. The subsequent void in routine and identity then becomes the entry point for reflexivity, which unfolds in complex dynamics. 

Reflexivity operates non-synchronously across three arenas: the domestic arena, in the form of redefining the meaning of being a good mother; the public arena, through the transformation of grief into collective action based on communities; and the social arena, through the reconfiguration of relationships based on meaningful support. The entire process of self-negotiation occurs within the boundaries of regulated liberties shaped by doxa and the arena, while the secondary habitus formed during the process of caring for a sick child continues to operate post-loss, generating new dispositions of social care. This study concludes that maternal grief following the loss of a child is a social practice that is continuously negotiated within the boundaries of the arena and doxa.

Kata Kunci : Habitus, Doxa, Kehilangan Anak, Gender, Refleksivitas/Habitus, Doxa, Child Loss, Gender, Reflexivity.